Missing in Action

I know I’ve fell out of touch last year.  I started my Masters, I was taking 3 classes, and I stretched myself way to thin.  On a positive note, I will be finishing my Masters in December, meaning Mo MONEY!  On top of the stress from classes, Ashton got worse.  I spent every day getting beat up physically and emotionally by the kid, or trying to prevent him from beating on other students.

Not to mention, everyone’s moral was down, because our new superintendent comes off as racist, which has led to all of our African American administrators to walk out.  With that being said, I’m nervous to start this school year with a new principal and superintendent, AND a new ESL department head (since she took the superintendent job).

On top of all the school stuff, my boyfriend and I just bought a house, so we are rushing to try and get in to it ASAP before school starts.  Please bare with me these next couple of months as I finish up my Masters, get situated into my house.  I’ll do my best to keep you all up to date in my classroom, but I can’t promise I won’t be foggy.


Week 18-26: Yes I know I am Behind as F***

Let’s start with CHANGES! Ashton is no longer with family.  He is with a foster family, and we are split on it being the best for him, and it being terrible.  I officially started my masters and I am NOT OKAY!! Hence why I am not updating as often.

Honestly, I can’t remember half the BS that the little monsters have put me through, but here it goes….

Monday, Moses ripped one of my books in half….not like down the binding, like it was closed and ripped it down the middles of the cover….asshole.  I should also mention I have probably driven away 2 or 3 subs from our district because of my class.  I’m over it.

OH! but there was a funny (or a mean, you pick).  So Ashton was kneading at my belly, because beer belly, and said, “It feels like you have a baby Ms. L” and Nadia says, so matter of factly, “No Ashton! She doesn’t have a baby, she’s NOT A MOM!” She seriously said it like he was stupid.  He then continues to say, well I have 2 mommies and Ms. L is one of them.  *que awww* Then he continues to knead at my belly and says, “I’m going to put a baby in you!” NO. NO. AND NO!!

I’ve also figured out the only way I can get Ashton to not distract others to allow him to play with my hair…it is what it is.  Also, the kiddos are now obsessed with giving me shoulder massages, why they started asking, I have no idea, but honestly I can’t complain because Lucy is damn good at it.

OH! sorry to end on bad news, but Mindy, who we thought was cognitively impaired, because here last IQ test was a 46…apparently her IQ is now a 72, too high for CI…I’m such a good teacher I jumped her IQ (obviously jokes), but honestly concerned because if mom doesn’t get a doctor diagnosis of ANYTHING, she will lose ALL of her services outside of speech next year.

With that being said, our system is still fucked up, the kids still don’t behave, and I’m still drinking.

Week 15, 16, & 17

Alright, sorry all that I was gone for so long.  Those last 2 weeks were a killer, and I needed to decompress over break.  I did not want to even think about school, but now I’ve been back at it for 3 days and I am more than glad for the weekend!

Before break I almost lost it, but I kept it together.  I ended up giving the kids socks wrapped and tied around a candy cane. THEY LOVED IT!  I was super shocked that they actually liked it.  It made me happy though that they appreciated the gift, especially because many don’t celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah.  It was also something that many of them needed.  The only student who was not feeling the gift was my one student who is Cognitively Impaired.  She tried giving them back, and I said “But you can wear them and I’m sure your mom will love them!”  Her response, “I doon’t knooow.”  I almost died laughing to myself.

During the last week, I also had an incident where Haley goes into the bathroom and immediately comes out saying, “It no flush.”  I go in there, expecting it to be clogged, but realize that Reilly just didn’t flush.  After I flushed the toilet, I realized that there was poop, but no toilet paper.  So, I called Reilly over for a private conversation.  She is Yemen and just recently started speaking English.  I asked, “Did you whip when you potty?”  She said, “I washed my hands,” so I repeated, “But, did you whip with toilet paper?”  Her answer, “No, I washed my hands.”  At this point, I knew… I had to ask, “Reilly, did you whip with your hand?”  With this tone and look of confusion about why I didn’t understand or what the problem was, she said, “Yes, BUT I WASHED MY HANDS!?!”

We had a talk about whipping our butts with toilet paper later.  I was mortified.  I have lived by the scent of Purell.  I feel like I’m working in a pool of germs now.  Just pray for my health and pray she learned from our circle.

Thankfully this week back was short and only 3 days, even though we only had a week and a half off for break.  I had a kid fight in the bathroom, yesterday.  He was suspended today.  Cash has been a defiant little fucker.  Yes, I am fed up with him and do not have nice thoughts about him.  Ashton went to a doctor to see about getting on meds, but because he is technically a foster kid (living with grandma) they wouldn’t do it until a parent came in, or social worker wrote a letter.  Grandma is ready to send him to a group home, because he is so bad.  He’s starting counseling, but I already know for a kid like him it won’t work.

I’m looking forward to all my training in the coming weeks and I am getting excited.  I’m also looking into when I want to use my personal days.  When will be a good day, in February/March?  Leave your opinions in the comments!

Week 14

Like I already said, it was a rough week.  On Friday, Ashton tried stealing a dollar off of Sally’s desk.  He was caught red handed, but wouldn’t admit it.  On a positive note, he thought of me and brought me a donut, and by that I mean Ms. V bought it for him to give to me.  The thought was so sweet though.

I also cannot make up the shit they said to me on Friday.  For this, you’ll need a little background.  My brother plays hockey and took a puck to the face a few years ago during juniors.  He had to have surgery to fix his nose.  So, about 2 or 3 weeks ago, when the kids were tipping in their chairs, I told them they don’t want to end up like my brother who broke his nose and now it’s twice as big as it used to be.

Well…I’m sitting there, trying to start our read aloud, and Ashton shouts out “You have little elf ears a big nose like your brother.”  Cash, then shouted, “Her nose is expensive!”  What the fuck does that all even mean?  I do have small ears (during my student teaching a boy told me they were 5 year old ears), and my nose may be a little on the bigger side, but really? And, what in the world does he mean by nose is expensive?  Does he think I’m the one who had a nose job?  Is this just some terrible kid analogy of bigger is more money? WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I don’t understand them.  UGH.

Oh, and before I wrap up, here’s a little throwback for you.  Remember Meg? Yes, the girl who tried poisoning me last year, and the older sister of Jeff (who only came to school 2 days this week).  Well, she is suspended AGAIN this year.  Why you ask..SHE WAS SEARCHING DICKS! *throws up hand like she’s all hard*

I will just leave you with that.  We can make it to Winter break!

Week 12 and 13…beginning 14

This will (probably) be short and sweet.

We made it through Thanksgiving week (week 12), with minimal casualties.  I decided to be kind and bought pumpkin pie for the students.  They weren’t fans.  Ugh.  The leftovers also got moldy over the weekend.  I was pissed.  It just wasn’t meant for me I guess.

Last week was not awful either.  At least not that I remember.  I’ve probably pushed the bad memories out of my mind.

This week though…HOLY SHIT! I almost killed some kids.  They were so BAD!  I was supposed to go to a conference today, but because we didn’t have any subs, my principal told me come in anyway.  I was pissed.  I needed the day away from the kids AND I felt I was getting a lot from the training (its a reading PD).  The best part, THERE WOULD HAVE ONLY BEEN 3 OF US OUT!! What bullshit?  I was most mad, because I ALWAYS take on extra students, but the ONE time I would have needed it, I can’t be helped.

It didn’t help that today turned into an utter shit show.  Yesterday I couldn’t get a word in.  Today, Ashton peed on the playground under the slide.  Lord, give me strength.  Then, Moses, and a boy from the other 1st grade class basically jumped Jason and kicked him hella hard.  He’ll probably have a bruise, and his mom will probably come ready to fight tomorrow.  I broke my brand new music wand, but I’m pretty sure Ashton broke it a few weeks ago, and this was just its final straw.

I finally said FUCK IT and put them on the computers for the last half of the day.  We literally only did reading and writing today.  I’m not even mad, and I don’t feel bad.

Sometimes, we just need to do what we need to do to survive.

Weeks 10 and 11

I’m behind….again.  I know I’m slacking but there has been a lot going on.  First of all, I AM OFFICIALLY APPLIED FOR GRAD SCHOOL!  I’ve busted my butt to get essays done and make sure everything was in. Send all your positive thoughts, vibes, and prayers my way that I get accepted.

In the classroom, it’s been relatively uneventful.  I went to a PD on Tuesday of this week (11), and got the BEST sub report I have ever gotten!  Downfall, Ashton is getting more pushy with students.  I watched him straight up lunge shove a kid.

On the other hand, outside of the classroom…at the PD, not a SINGLE teacher from my district was signed up for the PD.  Apparently the person in charge of PD stuff (who is now in a different position and that position has not been filled) never sent in our registration, but did send the payment.  It was a nightmare trying to figure it all out.

I should also mention I had more than half my class come to parent teacher conferences.  That doesn’t happen to teachers out in the portables! What The Heck!

On a different note….With behavior on the rise, and learning on the decline, kindergarten and first grade have gotten together and are going to do leveled reading and math groups.  So my kiddos like Ashton who missed out on kinder, my ESL students like Andy, Reilly, and Moses, and my students who are severely delayed like Mindy, will finally be getting intervention where they are at and actually learn something!  Some of the advanced kinders will get higher level instruction as well!

Exciting things are happening as we come up on our holiday season.  I’m also starting another study, so YAYY MONIES! haha stay sane my friends! Next week is a short week and hopefully my thoughts will be a little more clear.  I do apologize for my thoughts being all over the place, but that represents how we feel as teachers right?

Weeks 7, 8, 9

So, I’m really behind.  I apologize.

Week 6, we went to the Apple Orchard, and it went pretty well.  My little boy Trevor cried because he did not have a jacket, and was freezing.  I felt so bad.  Other than that, it went pretty well.

Week 7, my ENTIRE class went to see the Very Hungry Caterpillar as a play.  That went mostly alright except our librarian got pissed at Haley and some other girls for talking.  Sorry an hour (plus) is too long for first graders to sit in the dark and be quiet.

Week 8, It was Halloween.  It was terrible.  I wanted to hurt small children.  (I didn’t though).  I had Mindy, happens to be a special learner, throw up all over herself and the floor.  She didn’t even try to get it on the floor or in a trashcan.  She just sat there and threw up on herself.  It was bad.  I also met Cash’s mom for the first time, and she gave me a hug like we’re best friends.  It was very weird, but also nice how welcoming she was.

In all honesty, there were some more pants dropping, and hitting thrown in there, but I’ve forgotten.  Cash was starting to have some really good days, while Jason is probably getting worse.  I’m ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

This week will be interesting, because it’s Parent-Teacher conferences, and voting, so its going to be super broken up.  Next weekend, I have to go to a conference on Thursday.  Then, the week after that is Thanksgiving, and BOOM we’re into December!  Remember, WE’VE GOT THIS!

Week 6

I’ve been trying to figure out how to write this all weekend.  Please be warned there is shocking content.

This week was basically Hell Week in my classroom.  Cash started off like a spoiled brat this week.  He screamed at me, hid in the bathroom, and ran away from me.  Grandma picked him up and gave him a whooping, because, she “Know(s) [she] can do things [I] can’t.”  He was great for the rest of the week.  Thursday and Friday were shaky, but better than the beginning.

Fast Forward to Thursday.  Money for our Apple Orchard was due.  I have only 16 out of 22…well 23 (getting to that in a minute) going, and 6 parents.  This is the most out of any class.  We almost couldn’t cover the bus.  Thankfully we ARE going.  I will NOT miss out on a field trip because of funding.

Back to my class size.  One of my students that was a no show, FINALLY showed up.  He was in Yemen.  We will call him Olly.  His older brother brought him to class, and he silently refused to come in.  They went back to the office, and dad brought him back out.  This time Ollie came kicking and screaming.  I had to hold onto Ollie, while dad pried him off.  He SCREAMED for over 20 minutes.  It was awful.  I already had a headache.  Ollie definitely made it worse.

I finally got someone to get him out of my room and to the office.  The class was all thrown off by this point.  They couldn’t focus, and I didn’t blame them, but they couldn’t regather themselves, so I asked them to put their heads down.  I happened to look up at Jason.  Like he’s done it a million times, he pulled his PENIS out of his pants.  HIS PENIS! Yes, you read that correctly.  You could tell he knew what he was doing.  When I yelled at him, he shoved it back down his pants so fast.  I was shaking, because I had no idea what to do.  After talking to the social worker and our principal we had a conversation with the parents and sent him home for the day.

I can’t handle this.  I literally saw a child’s penis.  Was it my fault? No.  Do I still feel like a pedo? Yes.  Damn kid doing nasty things.  Friday was better, thank God, because I couldn’t handle another day like Thursday.

I’m looking forward to Tuesday, because we get to go to the Apple Orchard.  I need this break in my life.  Just pray don’t see anymore private parts that do not belong to my boyfriend.

Weeks 4 & 5

I forgot to post last week.  To be honest, I’m not even sorry because no one participated in my survey.  I’m going to take it as no one even has a guess at my students’ favorite song, so I’m just going to tell you all.

Surprisingly, my students are obsessed with  “If I Had a Million Dollars” by The Barenaked Ladies, followed closely by “Larger Than Life” by Backstreet Boys.

I’ve had many complaints about Ashton hitting others.  So if it happens again, I’ve already warned him and his grandma that it will be a suspension.  I forgot to warn her, so when he hit Jeff we did not suspend him, but she is giving him a little whooping (Finally!).  Let’s see if it makes a difference.

We took our first test on Friday, it was a shit show.  They didn’t understand cheating, or distracting.  I actually screamed.  It was awful.  Then I cut my finger pretty bad trying to swat at Ashton’s hand for touching my things.  It wouldn’t stop bleeding.

There really wasn’t a whole lot that happened other than that.

Oh, but I did drop the F bomb on Friday.  That’s all.

Week 3 (Entering Week 4)

So, last week, someone mentioned a specific 90s song, after I mentioned how these kiddos love the 90s music I play for them.  They truly are the future ❤  I decided to turn it into a week long writing assignment (We are behind and need to finish up tomorrow though).  Can anyone guess what song that may be?  It is seriously their new favorite song.  I will be taking votes all week and announcing it on Friday, along with some of their stories they wrote.  I will add a poll at the bottom of this post.

Honestly nothing crazy happened last week.  Ashton is starting to get more comfortable, and more off the wall.  I had a handful of students choose not to write last week, so I had to show parents what they did, or more accurately didn’t do.  I have one little boy, Cash, who just scribbled, and let me tell you Grandma was not happy!  I also made him cry every day last week.  I didn’t even truly yell at him.  I just told him he couldn’t handle being part of our group so he had to go back to his seat.  He bawled like a freaking baby.

I found out from his Kindergarten teacher, that halfway through the year, when Dad came back into the picture he became a different student.  We pray Dad does not come back.  He’s a bad guy.  Dad was abusive toward Mom.  The kid would hit his Kinder teacher, and then turn around and hug her saying, “I’m so sorry Ms. G, I’ll never hit you again.  I’m so sorry, I love you.”  LITERALLY THINGS YOU SEE IN A WIFE BEATER!!! It was so scary when she told me that such a little human being picked up this behavior.  I fear for the sweet boys future.  He is so smart, but I think there’s some stuff going on with him.  He cannot just listen.  He is constantly making noises, and bouncing, and dancing.  I want to say ADHD, but it feels different.

Today, we went on our first field trip.  It was just part of our science curriculum we use.  I hate this field trip, but at the same time it’s nice, because I can use it as Trial Field Trip.  If the student’s can’t behave on this field trip, they don’t go on others.  I was so so proud of my babies! They did fantastic for such a shitty field trip!  It was a little stressful though, because I had to take care of both 1st grade classes.  Our other 1st grade teacher had to miss today, because she had an emergency Dr. Appt.  Praying she is alright, but things worked out!

Have a Great Week!