Here in Michigan, and a lot of other states (and countries), we’re under a stay at home order.  I know I post a lot of the real and dirty parts of teaching, but sometimes, a lot of times, the students can be sweet and loving.  During these times, you remember the good parts that make you miss the classroom.

Today I was reminded of Vinnie, my sweet CI student who has a way with words.  I miss his goofy comments and simple reasoning.  I miss his loving personality, and his drive to read.

I miss Brianna, my strong willed sassy pants.  She may get an attitude and a bit defiant when she’s tired and frustrated, but her kind reasoning, and desire to please and help are missed deeply.

I miss Mickie and his shy bashful smile when he gets a bit of praise.  I worry about Mickie.  I worry he isn’t getting love and attention he needs.  I miss seeing his eyes when he recognizes the warm fuzzy feelings of love in our class.

I miss Izzie.  I miss her quiet voice, and that sneaky little smirk, because it hurts to much to really smile.  I miss how she would only talk to me, because she was too shy to ask other adults for help.

I miss Annie.  I miss her silly smile, and her quirky brain.  I miss listening to her read and explain her thinking.  The way she laughs when she realizes she made a mistake in a prediction, or the way she  gets excited when she predicts right always brightened my day.

While these are just a few specific students (names obviously changed), I miss the whole class.  I miss our silly banter.  I miss the smiles on their face when the walk into a safe room.  I miss their challenges, and I miss being there for them.  I miss watching them have fun during recess and brain breaks.

I miss them.

I miss my students.

Quotes from my students…

Since we’re in quarantine, and I was MIA for so long, here are some things my kids have said this year.  I apologize for disappearing again (though for  a shorter time this time).

  • “Ms. L…what happened to your…(points at face)?”  *I chose to wear makeup today!*  “Oh, okay, I won’t judge you.”
  • *Read with a lisp & excitement* “I know what that is!  It’s a cockroach!”DELETE WHEN DONE
  • “He took my nipple off! Give me my nipple!” *pretends to put nipple back on*
  • “Is that a sweater or a dress? ” *Its a dress that is like a thin sweater material – so I tell her both)* “Weird!” *This bish was legit wearing an open knit dress made of yarn!*
  • “My momma said I don’t have to listen white people!” *I give him a look* “Except my teacher…”
  • “Ms. L…Why do you look like you have a baby in your belly?” Me: “Because I’m fat!” Student: “Oh, I’m fat too…”
  • “Look Ms. L!  We can Scissor!” *Imagine 3 girls sitting with their legs bent behind them (opposite of criss-cross applesauce), laying on their back and moving their knees in and out like scissors* **It did not look any better then it sounded**
  • “There’s a spider on our table.”  *That spider was in fact a bed bug*
  • “My mom went to the doctor, and he pulled her pants down, and cut the baby out of her.”
  • “I don’t like your makeup on your eyes. It’s too dramatic, and I don’t like dramatic.”
  • “We can have different style, and that’s okay!  We still like each other!


I’m sure there’s others I forgot to write down.  If I come up with more I will update the list.  Add your funny and horrific quotes in the comments!  I look forward to hearing them!


I’m Back Betches!

Alright, so let me start by apologizing for going MIA, acting like I was back, then disappearing again.  I definitely piled too many things at once, but I FINISHED MY MASTERS IN JUST 12 MONTHS!  So, there’s that…lol.  There was a lot that went into my break, though.

For starters, I was getting beat up day in and day out last year by students with no repercussions.  I know I’ve talked about this before, but I was ready to quit.   I thought about switching to an ESL position, but ultimately I chose to stay, because I had a badass partner and wanted a year that didn’t feel like I was relearning my job.

This year…mostly is going better.  Unfortunately, with a new superintendent, all of our African American principals walked.  This was all of our elementary principals.  We all loved and miss Mr. P, but he was admittedly checked out. Just think about how he handled me getting beat up every day.  The superintendent essentially admitted none of the new principal hires were first choices, which was frustrating to hear.  Mrs. D…lets just say shes tough.

She has consistently asked something new of us each week, with out time to figure out what we are actually doing.  We have all dropped the ball numerous times because we can’t keep up with the new changes and expectations.  Is it all to make us better? Yes.  Could it be spread out more? Yes.  HOWEVER…she does NOT respond to emails, she UNavailable, and REPEATEDLY contradicts herself or goes back on her word.

More you ask? Okay.  First of all, she told a teacher something a few weeks ago (with another teacher in the office who over heard the entire conversation), a few days later tells an involved parent the EXACT OPPOSITE thing.  So who looks bad? We teachers do.  She took 2+ weeks to do everyone’s post-eval meeting…completely skipping some people.  Yea…Shit Show.

We’ve also had a…pest problem this year. Mouse in a teacher’s desk, cockroaches in the main building and the portables, bed bug epidemic….you name it.  Mrs. D found a cockroach in her desk…mind you…we see them at least weekly out in the portables.  She REFUSED to go into her office for a week after that.  IF WE refused to teach in our rooms because we saw a cockroach…SHE WOULD NOT HAVE IT! I’ve noticed that for someone in their 40s, she is quite immature.

Now don’t get me wrong, just talking to her as a person, I like her.  She can be real, and sometimes quite relatable.  However as a boss, I think she is overbearing, micromanaging, unavailable, and unfair.  This has honestly made this year really hard on everyone.  Most of us just look forward to her leaving.  We don’t see her staying for more than another year, if they even ask for her to come back.  Not everyone held out though.  My partner left just a few weeks ago for bigger and better things.

Everyone has been checking in on me because in the words of our kindergarten teacher, “you guys just clicked. You were like sisters.”  This was so true too.  She was old enough to be my mom, but we clicked better than you can ever expect to click with a work partner.  So that has been sad, and were still waiting on her replacement.  We have a permanent sub in for one of our enrichment classes, because we weren’t able to hire a 3rd grade teacher still.  It’s been overly frustrating with teacher shortages (now 2 long term subs), turn over of support staff (paras, security, lunch aides, ect), and terrible unsafe working conditions.

If things don’t start looking up for next year…I may be moving.  I don’t want to, but for my sanity, and my safety, I may need to.

I apologize for this being so long, but I needed to get this out, and set the stage for what is inevitable to come.  This weekend I will share some fun quotes I have gathers from my kids to bring us back to a lighter tone!

I love you all, and I’ve missed you, but I’m back betches.

Missing in Action

I know I’ve fell out of touch last year.  I started my Masters, I was taking 3 classes, and I stretched myself way to thin.  On a positive note, I will be finishing my Masters in December, meaning Mo MONEY!  On top of the stress from classes, Ashton got worse.  I spent every day getting beat up physically and emotionally by the kid, or trying to prevent him from beating on other students.

Not to mention, everyone’s moral was down, because our new superintendent comes off as racist, which has led to all of our African American administrators to walk out.  With that being said, I’m nervous to start this school year with a new principal and superintendent, AND a new ESL department head (since she took the superintendent job).

On top of all the school stuff, my boyfriend and I just bought a house, so we are rushing to try and get in to it ASAP before school starts.  Please bare with me these next couple of months as I finish up my Masters, get situated into my house.  I’ll do my best to keep you all up to date in my classroom, but I can’t promise I won’t be foggy.

Week 18-26: Yes I know I am Behind as F***

Let’s start with CHANGES! Ashton is no longer with family.  He is with a foster family, and we are split on it being the best for him, and it being terrible.  I officially started my masters and I am NOT OKAY!! Hence why I am not updating as often.

Honestly, I can’t remember half the BS that the little monsters have put me through, but here it goes….

Monday, Moses ripped one of my books in half….not like down the binding, like it was closed and ripped it down the middles of the cover….asshole.  I should also mention I have probably driven away 2 or 3 subs from our district because of my class.  I’m over it.

OH! but there was a funny (or a mean, you pick).  So Ashton was kneading at my belly, because beer belly, and said, “It feels like you have a baby Ms. L” and Nadia says, so matter of factly, “No Ashton! She doesn’t have a baby, she’s NOT A MOM!” She seriously said it like he was stupid.  He then continues to say, well I have 2 mommies and Ms. L is one of them.  *que awww* Then he continues to knead at my belly and says, “I’m going to put a baby in you!” NO. NO. AND NO!!

I’ve also figured out the only way I can get Ashton to not distract others to allow him to play with my hair…it is what it is.  Also, the kiddos are now obsessed with giving me shoulder massages, why they started asking, I have no idea, but honestly I can’t complain because Lucy is damn good at it.

OH! sorry to end on bad news, but Mindy, who we thought was cognitively impaired, because here last IQ test was a 46…apparently her IQ is now a 72, too high for CI…I’m such a good teacher I jumped her IQ (obviously jokes), but honestly concerned because if mom doesn’t get a doctor diagnosis of ANYTHING, she will lose ALL of her services outside of speech next year.

With that being said, our system is still fucked up, the kids still don’t behave, and I’m still drinking.

Week 15, 16, & 17

Alright, sorry all that I was gone for so long.  Those last 2 weeks were a killer, and I needed to decompress over break.  I did not want to even think about school, but now I’ve been back at it for 3 days and I am more than glad for the weekend!

Before break I almost lost it, but I kept it together.  I ended up giving the kids socks wrapped and tied around a candy cane. THEY LOVED IT!  I was super shocked that they actually liked it.  It made me happy though that they appreciated the gift, especially because many don’t celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah.  It was also something that many of them needed.  The only student who was not feeling the gift was my one student who is Cognitively Impaired.  She tried giving them back, and I said “But you can wear them and I’m sure your mom will love them!”  Her response, “I doon’t knooow.”  I almost died laughing to myself.

During the last week, I also had an incident where Haley goes into the bathroom and immediately comes out saying, “It no flush.”  I go in there, expecting it to be clogged, but realize that Reilly just didn’t flush.  After I flushed the toilet, I realized that there was poop, but no toilet paper.  So, I called Reilly over for a private conversation.  She is Yemen and just recently started speaking English.  I asked, “Did you whip when you potty?”  She said, “I washed my hands,” so I repeated, “But, did you whip with toilet paper?”  Her answer, “No, I washed my hands.”  At this point, I knew… I had to ask, “Reilly, did you whip with your hand?”  With this tone and look of confusion about why I didn’t understand or what the problem was, she said, “Yes, BUT I WASHED MY HANDS!?!”

We had a talk about whipping our butts with toilet paper later.  I was mortified.  I have lived by the scent of Purell.  I feel like I’m working in a pool of germs now.  Just pray for my health and pray she learned from our circle.

Thankfully this week back was short and only 3 days, even though we only had a week and a half off for break.  I had a kid fight in the bathroom, yesterday.  He was suspended today.  Cash has been a defiant little fucker.  Yes, I am fed up with him and do not have nice thoughts about him.  Ashton went to a doctor to see about getting on meds, but because he is technically a foster kid (living with grandma) they wouldn’t do it until a parent came in, or social worker wrote a letter.  Grandma is ready to send him to a group home, because he is so bad.  He’s starting counseling, but I already know for a kid like him it won’t work.

I’m looking forward to all my training in the coming weeks and I am getting excited.  I’m also looking into when I want to use my personal days.  When will be a good day, in February/March?  Leave your opinions in the comments!

Week 14

Like I already said, it was a rough week.  On Friday, Ashton tried stealing a dollar off of Sally’s desk.  He was caught red handed, but wouldn’t admit it.  On a positive note, he thought of me and brought me a donut, and by that I mean Ms. V bought it for him to give to me.  The thought was so sweet though.

I also cannot make up the shit they said to me on Friday.  For this, you’ll need a little background.  My brother plays hockey and took a puck to the face a few years ago during juniors.  He had to have surgery to fix his nose.  So, about 2 or 3 weeks ago, when the kids were tipping in their chairs, I told them they don’t want to end up like my brother who broke his nose and now it’s twice as big as it used to be.

Well…I’m sitting there, trying to start our read aloud, and Ashton shouts out “You have little elf ears a big nose like your brother.”  Cash, then shouted, “Her nose is expensive!”  What the fuck does that all even mean?  I do have small ears (during my student teaching a boy told me they were 5 year old ears), and my nose may be a little on the bigger side, but really? And, what in the world does he mean by nose is expensive?  Does he think I’m the one who had a nose job?  Is this just some terrible kid analogy of bigger is more money? WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I don’t understand them.  UGH.

Oh, and before I wrap up, here’s a little throwback for you.  Remember Meg? Yes, the girl who tried poisoning me last year, and the older sister of Jeff (who only came to school 2 days this week).  Well, she is suspended AGAIN this year.  Why you ask..SHE WAS SEARCHING DICKS! *throws up hand like she’s all hard*

I will just leave you with that.  We can make it to Winter break!

Week 12 and 13…beginning 14

This will (probably) be short and sweet.

We made it through Thanksgiving week (week 12), with minimal casualties.  I decided to be kind and bought pumpkin pie for the students.  They weren’t fans.  Ugh.  The leftovers also got moldy over the weekend.  I was pissed.  It just wasn’t meant for me I guess.

Last week was not awful either.  At least not that I remember.  I’ve probably pushed the bad memories out of my mind.

This week though…HOLY SHIT! I almost killed some kids.  They were so BAD!  I was supposed to go to a conference today, but because we didn’t have any subs, my principal told me come in anyway.  I was pissed.  I needed the day away from the kids AND I felt I was getting a lot from the training (its a reading PD).  The best part, THERE WOULD HAVE ONLY BEEN 3 OF US OUT!! What bullshit?  I was most mad, because I ALWAYS take on extra students, but the ONE time I would have needed it, I can’t be helped.

It didn’t help that today turned into an utter shit show.  Yesterday I couldn’t get a word in.  Today, Ashton peed on the playground under the slide.  Lord, give me strength.  Then, Moses, and a boy from the other 1st grade class basically jumped Jason and kicked him hella hard.  He’ll probably have a bruise, and his mom will probably come ready to fight tomorrow.  I broke my brand new music wand, but I’m pretty sure Ashton broke it a few weeks ago, and this was just its final straw.

I finally said FUCK IT and put them on the computers for the last half of the day.  We literally only did reading and writing today.  I’m not even mad, and I don’t feel bad.

Sometimes, we just need to do what we need to do to survive.

Weeks 10 and 11

I’m behind….again.  I know I’m slacking but there has been a lot going on.  First of all, I AM OFFICIALLY APPLIED FOR GRAD SCHOOL!  I’ve busted my butt to get essays done and make sure everything was in. Send all your positive thoughts, vibes, and prayers my way that I get accepted.

In the classroom, it’s been relatively uneventful.  I went to a PD on Tuesday of this week (11), and got the BEST sub report I have ever gotten!  Downfall, Ashton is getting more pushy with students.  I watched him straight up lunge shove a kid.

On the other hand, outside of the classroom…at the PD, not a SINGLE teacher from my district was signed up for the PD.  Apparently the person in charge of PD stuff (who is now in a different position and that position has not been filled) never sent in our registration, but did send the payment.  It was a nightmare trying to figure it all out.

I should also mention I had more than half my class come to parent teacher conferences.  That doesn’t happen to teachers out in the portables! What The Heck!

On a different note….With behavior on the rise, and learning on the decline, kindergarten and first grade have gotten together and are going to do leveled reading and math groups.  So my kiddos like Ashton who missed out on kinder, my ESL students like Andy, Reilly, and Moses, and my students who are severely delayed like Mindy, will finally be getting intervention where they are at and actually learn something!  Some of the advanced kinders will get higher level instruction as well!

Exciting things are happening as we come up on our holiday season.  I’m also starting another study, so YAYY MONIES! haha stay sane my friends! Next week is a short week and hopefully my thoughts will be a little more clear.  I do apologize for my thoughts being all over the place, but that represents how we feel as teachers right?

Weeks 7, 8, 9

So, I’m really behind.  I apologize.

Week 6, we went to the Apple Orchard, and it went pretty well.  My little boy Trevor cried because he did not have a jacket, and was freezing.  I felt so bad.  Other than that, it went pretty well.

Week 7, my ENTIRE class went to see the Very Hungry Caterpillar as a play.  That went mostly alright except our librarian got pissed at Haley and some other girls for talking.  Sorry an hour (plus) is too long for first graders to sit in the dark and be quiet.

Week 8, It was Halloween.  It was terrible.  I wanted to hurt small children.  (I didn’t though).  I had Mindy, happens to be a special learner, throw up all over herself and the floor.  She didn’t even try to get it on the floor or in a trashcan.  She just sat there and threw up on herself.  It was bad.  I also met Cash’s mom for the first time, and she gave me a hug like we’re best friends.  It was very weird, but also nice how welcoming she was.

In all honesty, there were some more pants dropping, and hitting thrown in there, but I’ve forgotten.  Cash was starting to have some really good days, while Jason is probably getting worse.  I’m ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

This week will be interesting, because it’s Parent-Teacher conferences, and voting, so its going to be super broken up.  Next weekend, I have to go to a conference on Thursday.  Then, the week after that is Thanksgiving, and BOOM we’re into December!  Remember, WE’VE GOT THIS!